Divorce is hard and stressful, but it’s more of a concern when you have children. Thus, it’s your responsibility to help your kids cope with the circumstance.
Following are 3 ways by which you can help and prepare your kids for divorce.
1# Breaking the News
After you’ve confirmed the plans, talk to your children about the decision to live apart. There’s always a no straightforward way to break bad news, though! If possible, reveal your decision in the presence of the two parents.
Try to manage your feelings of anger, blame, and bitterness. Prepare how to break the ice without becoming upset in front of your children. The discussion should fit the age, temperament, and maturity of the children.
But always emphasizes that the cause of divorce isn’t due to the children fault. Most kids feel they’re the cause of separation; thus, you should keep giving the assurance. Let kids know that adults can change how they love one another, and at times they can’t agree on things.
Let them know that the love between parents and kids can, however, not be stopped!
2# Handling Kids’ Reactions
For the kids who are upset with the news, let them know you understand and recognize the feelings. Reassure them that all shall be well. They should feel you care, and both of you are sorry for divorce.
Some kids don’t react immediately. For those who react straightforwardly, assure them you’ll get in touch once they’re ready. Some kids don’t show a sad feeling and may avoid hard questions after the news.
Stress may also reveal in other ways of life either at school, with friends, changes in appetite, sleep patterns, and behavior. Whether your kids express worry, fear, or relief about divorce, always get in touch to know their changes in life.
Be ready to answer the following questions:
- Who will I live with?
- Will I move?
- Where will we spend the holidays?
- Can I still leave to camp this summer?
- Where will I go to school?
- Where will each parent live?
- Will I still visit my friends?
- Can I still do my preferred activities?
3# Helping Kids Cope
Most of the parents and kids grieve the end of their happy union. Particularly kids miss the presence of both guardians and their family. It’s natural for some kids to expect one day their parents will come together.
Mourning the family loss is intense at first, but with time, both parents and kids start to accept the situation. Assure your kids that despite the circumstances, mom and dad care and perhaps one day they might reunite. But explain the final decision for them to understand the weight of the matter!
Don’t put your kids between your issues and what you’re going through. To stop your children from feeling guilty, let them know they’re not the cause of divorce. Always show your children love, no matter what!For expert help in matters of divorce, consult KoonsFuller Family Law. KoonsFuller attorneys are recognized in the family law community, and they always show up in court when adequately prepared!