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Depending on your circumstances, between 25% and 75% of marriages end in divorce nowadays.
Yet not all divorces are made equal!
Whereas some marriages end in a fair, empathic, and respectful manner, others lead to deep animosity, hurt feelings, and bitterness. Needless to say, life’s easier for everyone in the first scenario. So, how do you end a marriage amicably?
Read on for some top tips to end a marriage in the best way possible.
Whether it’s a mutual choice, you’re the one ending a marriage, or the decision has been made for you, the first step to an amicable separation is empathy. This is never easy, but it’s important to recognize that you aren’t the only one suffering! Your partner and kids (if you have them) are too.
Remember, empathy is a choice. Striving to put yourself in your ex-partner’s shoes will help you feel the compassion that’s so crucial to a friendly separation.
Whether you feel ashamed, embarrassed, and/or defeated because of the forthcoming divorce, it’s tempting to retreat into yourself and refuse any offers of support. Resist. Turning to your network of friends and family can make an almighty difference on all fronts.
From practical support (cooking meals or collecting the kids from school etcetera) to emotional support, it can lighten the load and give you space to process the change.
Seek the Middle Ground
Sooner or later, you’ll need to get lawyers involved for help with the legal side of things (Google “the best divorce lawyers near me” to find them). But consider waiting as long as possible to do so; choosing instead to handle negotiations (over living arrangements, who gets what, and so on) alone. This keeps the cost down, but it may also reduce the potential for conflict.
After all, because the lawyer’s job is to fight to get you as much as possible, contentions can soon arise on both sides. Go the solo route, and you can extend olive branches, choose peace over conflict, and aim for the middle ground.
The early days, weeks, and months of any divorce can be the messiest. That’s why it’s so crucial to pick your battles and play the long game. Don’t pursue small wins in your bid to secure as much as possible from the remnants of the marriage.
What’s most important to you long-term? For instance, if you want to stay friends with your ex-partner, then it makes no sense to be bullish in your pursuit of child maintenance (that could cause resentment and animosity).
Time to End a Marriage Amicably
Getting divorced is never easy. It’s a huge change, a major loss, and rife with fear and uncertainty. Trust us, though, it becomes a thousand times harder when you end the relationship in a messy, acrimonious, and resentful way.
With any luck, the insights on how to end a marriage amicably in this post will help you avoid that fate. To read more articles on this topic (and others like it), browse the rest of our blog now!