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So just this week President Trump promised to get Republicans and Democrats into a room to talk immigration. And guess what? Yesterday, that’s exactly what he did. Assembling over a dozen Congressional leaders to negotiate immigration.
Now, what made this meeting particularly special was that Trump invited cameras into the room. Which was mind blowing, because, finally, we’d get to see the president take charge. So go on, Mr. President, tell these fools your current position on immigration. My own positions are going to be what the people in this room come up with. I am very much reliant on the people in this room.
Trump Hits Immigration Hard
If they come to me with things that I’m not in love with, I’m gonna do it, because I respect them. (laughter) I love that he’s acting like a tough, in-control leader, while at the same time telling everyone he will do anything they want. He’s like, “Let’s get this straight, asshole, I’m your bitch.” (laughter) “You will walk all over me.” (cheering and applause) “And if you got a problem with that, I apologize.” (laughter) Now, the main discussion in this meeting was what to do about DACA, which is expiring in March. Now, DACA is a program that allows around 700,000 undocumented immigrants who were brought to the U.S.
Why Should Children Be Deported From the U.S?
When they were children to stay in the U.S. and not to be deported. Because think about it, they could be punished for a decision that their parents made– to bring them here, you know? It’s like how were you punished for your parents’ decision to take to you Supercuts.
It’s not your fault. Now, though the Democrats want to pass DACA right now. Of course Republicans also want to pass DACA, but only if the Democrats also agree to fund more border security and, of course, Trump’s bold border wall idea.
Still Building That Big Border Wall on the Mexican Border Folks
You guys remember the wall? Yeah? The one by Mexico? It’s like, “You guys are dumb.” That one. Remember that wall? So, while both sides want DACA, there’s a clean DACA, and then there’s DACA with everything else. And if you were running a high-level negotiation about DACA, this would be a key concept to understand.
But if I told you that there was one person in the room yesterday who didn’t quite understand… I’ll bet you can guess who it was. (laughter) So, please enjoy this moment as Republican Kevin McCarthy has to jump in to help the president understand that he’s just agreed with the opposite of what he said he always wanted.
I’d like to ask the question what about a clean DACA bill now and with a commitment that we go into a comprehensive immigration reform procedure? -I think a lot of people would like to see that.
First Things First Mr President
Wait. But I think we have to do DACA first. Mr. President, you need to be clear, though. I think what Senator Feinstein’s asking here… When we talk about just DACA, -we don’t want to be back here two years later. -Right. You have to have security, as the secretary would tell you.
But I think that’s what she’s saying. Oh, no, no, I think she’s saying something different. It looks likes McCarthy was gently correcting a stupid kid. You know? It’s just like, “I want clean DACA.” “No, Mr. President, you don’t want clean DACA.” “I don’t want clean DACA.” I won’t…
Trump Out of His Depth
I won’t lie, I think it’s so cute that whenever Trump is out of his depth, he gives himself away with that little hug that he gives himself for comfort, you know? It’s like his little ThunderShirt. He does that thing. Yeah, look at him. He looks like the oldest B-boy in the crew, you know? All you have to do is put him in a music video, and he would crush it. He would just be killing the game.
Go, DJ. Go, DJ. Go, DJ. Go, DJ. But actually, actually, it’s not fair to say that Trump knows nothing about what he wants on immigration reform. All right, he might be a little short on facts, but the important thing is he’s got the feeling. Having the Democrats in with us is absolutely vital because this should be a bipartisan bill. This should be a bill of love. Truly, it should be a bill of love.
A Bill of Love
That’s right, people. This should be a bill of love. Which is ridiculous. You don’t get to call that a bill of love, right? That’s a bill that funds a 2,000-mile wall. You don’t call that the bill of love. Even if the wall is full of glory holes, all right? (laughter) Which I fully believe Trump wants.
That’s-that’s not real love, all right? A cheap fix, sure. Does it feel great? Yes. But real love? I mean, unless you go back to the hole regularly and the hole knows your name, then maybe. Like-like, if you care for the hole and the hole cares for you, then maybe it’s love. Like, the real question is what are you willing to do for the hole and-and do you expect the hole to do anything in return? That’s-that’s real love. I miss you. But, uh…
Funny Talk From Trump Belittles a Serious Issue
It’s funny to hear Trump talking about love and immigration. Especially after you hear the cruel decision that he made on Monday. About 200,000 immigrants from El Salvador could face deportation next year after the White House announced it is ending their temporary protected status.
These poor individuals who had been granted temporary protected status in the United States now have a very short 18 months to try to find another legal way to stay in the United States or be sent back to El Salvador.
Don’t forget that so many of them fled El Salvador because of violence during that country’s civil war or after the 2001 earthquake which devastated the country.
Yeah not cool huh. While President Bill of Love puts on a show for the cameras, behind the scenes, his administration is kicking out 200,000 people who have lived in the U.S. legally for decades. Which is heartless. Because these people have set up their whole lives. They have jobs, they have houses. Many of them have kids who were born in the U.S.
Wrapping Up on Immigration Hurt
These are real hurting families in your own backyard, Mr. President, real hurting human beings. You can’t just treat them the same way you treat Eric and others who fall so fast out of favor, come on!
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