Ways to Help Your Adult Child When Things Get Tough
Life can be tough for young adults because they haven’t had the time to develop the life skills they need to make decisions when things go wrong. If your child comes to you when things get difficult, there are a few ways to help your adult child while ensuring they also learn from their experiences.
Practical Tips for Parents: Ways to Help Your Adult Child
Help Them But Avoid Enabling
It’s not uncommon for young adults to manipulate their parents into giving them a free ride, even if it’s not the young adult’s intent. If your giving to them is unconditional, you are only helping them sink deeper into their problems. This also deprives your child of learning how to be independent. Sometimes, an adult child needs tough love to help them get through.
If you do decide to help them out, they should be given certain conditions attached.
If they are in financial trouble, instead of bailing them out with your own money, look for ways to enable them to do it themselves. If they have debt from school, refinancing it could lead to better interest rates and lower overall monthly expenses. But it’s often hard for young adults to qualify with little to no credit history, so cosigning can help them refinance. Still, before you decide to go this route, it’s a good idea to make sure you understand what will happen to your finances. You can review a guide with more information.
Stay Involved With Your Child
It’s one thing to teach kids about money but to ensure your financial plans work, you will need to make sure you stay on top of how things with your child are going. If you have agreed to help them out, it is your right to know what is going on, and this should be made clear before you agree to offer any assistance. Agree on how often your child should send progress reports.
If they are living at home, you may stipulate that they need to be actively searching for a job. If they have been in debt, check in to see how much they are saving each month. You don’t need to micromanage them, and while you can offer to help where you are able, you shouldn’t take on your child’s burden as your own. This is a chance for your child to grow and develop as an adult. Staying positive but being involved can help your child be more accountable, and it gives you enough information to be effective at parenting them.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
Some issues may require the help of a professional, and if your child’s issue falls under this category, don’t delay encouraging them to seek it out. Substance abuse or mental illness requires a professional with experience in dealing with these things. If your child is in financial trouble, working with a financial advisor can help them get back on track. Don’t be afraid to get help for yourself as well, especially if you are making sacrifices for your child. Get advice from others who have been in your shoes.
